- Jessica Abel’s beautiful meditation on realizing home and identity while being far away from it.
The thing is, when you live abroad, your perspective on home changes, and is complicated to the point that “home” starts to require scare quotes. What is home? And simultaneously, your understanding of how much you are (in my case) an American makes equally clear how very much you are not, and will never be (again, in my case) a French person. If that was your goal (it’s not mine, in this case). So staying put will mean that you’re not at home either…
But a part of me yens for a feeling of rootedness. I imagine that sometime I’ll find myself in the place I want to be, and I will stay there, because I will want to be there. I will visit other places, but there will be this one place that feels like home, and I’m going to want to be back there. But I’m in my mid 40s now and it hasn’t happened yet, so possibly the whole notion is just a fantasy."